Sunday, January 13, 2008

Ignorant Shit Pt 3

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I honestly thought I was done with Ignorant Shit series for a while, but the sheer level of stupid fuckery displayed by these guys has raised the stupidity bar so high (or low?) that no other title fits.

Read this blog post from http://www.myspace.com/nativeryme:

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It's gonna be a long night.

First of all, WHO THE FUCK ARE NATIVE RYME? This is the first I've heard of these guys, and I live in Brisbane as well. Shit, I get myself to show after show of average fucking terrible 'underground' aussie rap performances in Queensland, and they've never came up. Damn, these guys aren't getting the props they deserve.

Their music sounds like a below-average attempt at below-average American Rap. The flows okay, but no clever lines, no hot beats. Clearly it was too much effort to try and impersonate someone like Jay, so it sorta sounds like Jimmy Jones records, without the charisma, which is pretty much all Jimmy's got anyway. (Without the 'baaaaalliin' adlibs, We Fly High is garbage.)

Good Start guys. Good Start.

So they wanna throw it down with the Hoodies, eh?
I'm all for battle rapping/competition etc, but these guys want to wage a sales war, in 50 vs Kanye style fashion.

You know why it works for 50 v Kanye? Cuz 50 and Kanye are both established superstars. That's why there is hype created. 50 bets his career - thats a big thing for arguably one of the most successful rappers ever. Who cares if these guys quit - no one's gonna know about it - because no one fucking knows these guys. They're already on the backfoot - their controversy causing strategy has failed to cause any of the afore mentioned controversy, cause no one has even heard of them.

Let's talk sales figures for just a minute here. Hoodies have 3 platinum records, one gold album + a gold dvd. Thats about 280, 000 + records moved through indy hip-hop label obese.

You know what other Australian Hip-Hop artist have gone platinum? NONE. 1200 Techniques had a gold record.

That's two acts who had some sort of impact sales wise. That not enough to infer trends from, to make accurate predictions. Hell, thats two really different styles of music there.

These dudes must be geniuses. I can't fucking predict Australian Hip-Hop sales based on that. I'm fairly sure the Hoodies didn't predict a no 1 album for the Hard Road. Yet Native Ryme have something the rest of us don't. Ignorance. And they've got it by the truck load.

Universal records couldn't make Phrase, Tyree or Ken Hell sell. Sony couldn't push Figgkidd, but these guys - with no deal - can do it.

These guys just make me angry. They're the sorta of weedy bitches that stare down people at a club, but back up if someone stares back. Utterly deluded, just like the ratty looking guys you see around with baggy jeans and a blue bandana hanging out and only like 'real hip-hop' not that 'commercial shit', but have more 50 Cent records on their ipod then you've ever heard of.

To add to this mess, Native Ryme have pledge to donate their profits to the Australian KKK, should they be unable to outsell the hoodies. hahaha.. seriously. These guys think they're actually gonna have a record out, recoup and profit? Thats about as likely as Beyonce/Rihanna/Mya Jupiter walking up to me at a club, grabbing my hand in a club and banging me in the bathroom. Actually, probably more likely. And much like forcing Rhi-Rhi in submission, buying your records back doesn't count, though I'm assuming they don't have several million to spend buying back 300, 000 records. (And the analogy stops there)

They go on to say that the Hoodies can keep their ARIA's, cause Native Ryme have never been about the fame. Good mindset guys, don't set yourself up for disappointment. Hold on - they said they're gonna outsell 5 hoodie albums with 2 of theirs, which would make Native Ryme the first Australian hip-hop act to go multi-platinum. You morons. Either they think that they can sell 140, 000+ records from the comfort of the bedroom, based on the strength of their music alone. Go listen to the myspace now. This isn't happening. Either that, or they think that being underground is cool and legitmate, and that big selling artists are sell outs.

Just so everyone knows, you're favourite underground act would live to have a platinum record. Most underground dudes aren't they're by choice. And they're not better because they're obscure, there are so many whack 'underground' rappers. Which is why no one signs, so they start their own labels and saps like Native Ryme - 'Respect their hustle.'

Holy shit, I just went back to their myspace - Record Label - Native Ryme Entertainment, type Indie. Dead on. I could rant for months about dudes starting their own lables, but I'll save that for later.

I hate these guys. As much as I give shit to IsREAL and Cristopher Alexander, what they're doing just makes me laugh. Native Ryme make me angry.

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